Look for your name - it could be worth $25.00!

Do you want a $25 Gift Certificate to Tag'd?

Two more days left to this week's contest.  We hope Susie Coggins Wagner sees her name and comments on our "Behind the Scenes" Facebook Page that she saw it to be qualified to win.  You have until Sunday night Susie!  We will pick a random winner on Monday AM.  If your name is picked and you posted that you saw it then you win!  Good luck!!

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Are you ready for some more alternatives to punishing?    I hope so because here is part 4.  I promise you that if you follow these steps it makes an amazing difference in the house.  It has for me anyway.  I went from yelling alot to hardly ever yelling at all.

The best part about transforming your child from
defiant out-of-control behavior to being respectful
and cooperative is that you have less cleaning to do!

It's true, by having a cooperative child, you can significantly
reduce the mess you have to clean up every day.

And if you're like most parents, that's a HUGE RELIEF!

So let's take a look at an alternative to punishment that
can help you reduce the mess you have to clean up without
having to punish, threaten, or coerce your child....

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Alternative to Punishment #4: Offer an Alternative
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One very effective alternative to punishment that helps boost your
child's self-esteem is to offer an alternative. It's important to remember
that your child wants to explore the world, and they need space in
order to do that.

But at the same time you don't want a mess everywhere, so
here's a great way to create a "win-win" situation for you and your
child...

If your toddler is exploring the effects of gravity by pouring milk on the
floor, before you react like the house is on fire, first take a moment.
Evaluate the situation and think about offering your child an alternative.

Water in the sink would be one alternative,
playing outside with the hose would be another.

There's no point in punishing your child with harsh words, which
only fosters low self-esteem. Instead there are many alternatives.

We know that non-reaction can be a real challenge. As parents, we
are usually over-worked and under-rested... so we can often find
ourselves faced with these situations when cleaning up milk off the
floor is the last thing we want to do.

Let's use some examples of alternatives:

-When your child wants to play ball in the house
and they knock something over. Instead of punishing
or yelling, first cool yourself down and then ask them to go outside.

-When your child wants to climb on the furniture.
Prop some pillows up with an old mattress instead.
Or encourage them to climb in the trees.

-When your child wants to pull on the cat's tail,
see if they want to play tug of war instead.

-When your child starts mushing their food around,
put them at the sink with water and toys.

The thing to remember is that if your child has an idea that
you don't like, they don't need to be reprimanded for it.
Often times their ideas come from a sincere desire to learn and
explore the world. If you punish them for this, you will teach
them to be less confident, less independent, and harm their
natural sense of self-esteem.

By talking to them in a respectful and mature way, you will
not only foster their confidence and self-esteem, but you will
also teach them to talk to you in a respectful and mature way.
Since children model what you do.

By getting upset at them, they feel bad about themselves
and act out later. It becomes a vicious cycle.

An alternative is an excellent way to treat your child with respect
and at the same time allows them to be part of the decision making
process. If one alternative doesn't work for them offer another.

This has happened countless times with our son. I offer
him one thing and he says no, I get frustrated, but keep my cool and
offer him another. Then he happily agrees. He's waiting for
something that's closer to the learning he needs to do.

For example, he's trying to hammer a nail in to the floor,
I offer him some wood and he isn't interested. I then offer
him Styrofoam and he's excited and ready to work.

Try this the next time your child does something you don't want them to...

First, EVALUATE the situation and think of an alternative.
Refrain from getting upset at your child and just offer them something else
right away. Make it clear in your tone of voice, and in a loving manner,
that they need to select an alternative because their present actions aren't
acceptable for you.

Try this out a few times over the next week and notice how your child behaves differently...

To review the Alternatives to Punishment that you've learned so far:
First you learned how to "PREVENT" unecessary stressful events
with your child by taking a few steps in advance.

Next you learned how to "EVALUATE" the situation before you react,
so you can start responding in a way that helps your child disolve
their undesirable behavior.

The third alternative you learned was to "ASK A QUESTION",
in order to get a better understanding of your child's behavior.

And this week you learned about "OFFERING AN ALTERNATIVE",
which allows you to redirect your child, away from actions that
stress you or cause a mess, without harming your child's self-esteem.

Now you can offer them something that allows it to be a win-win for both of you. Conflict free.

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Deal of the Day!